dance, dance

[aiden]

13.06.05


Today. A different day. Fine. Horrible. Exciting. Boring. I really didn't do much of anything today. I woke up at around seven, because it annoying me to wake up after eight. I don't know why. It feels like I'm wasting the day if I wake up later.

I sat in my living room, watching television all day long. America's Top Model. How lame. I think I sat in five different places and twenty different positions. I hate how I can't stay in one position for more than half an hour.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a model. Always. It was my dream job, and I got excited every time I saw a modeling agency in the mall. After watching this, I realized that I still do want to be a model. Not as much as before, but I think it would be fun. I know that there is a lot of work. I know it's extremely hard, but I think I would like a challenge. Watch out for me on America's Next Top Model v.20 -- when I'm eighteen.

Tomorrow I'm starting my first day of summer track. Last week I was having second thoughts about it, because I'm not a really good runner, but now, I think it will be awesome. I'm going to be in cross country freshman year, so this will really help. Mr. Ramsey is the coach, so that should be wonderful. He was my eighth grade history teacher.

Me and my mom are on this diet. Ediets.com. I've been on it for two weeks, and I've lost five pounds. The first week was complete hell. I thought they were trying to starve me. It was all vegetables, and portions, and counting, and everything that I was horrible at. Now, in the second week, it's grown on me, and it's become easier. Some of the food is wonderful, like an eggplant entree, and others are just disqusting, like tofu soup.

Warped tour is this Sunday. My mom, dad, sister and I are going together, but only me and my sister will be walking around together. Thank god. My sister, Erin, can be pretty influential, so we'll bond pretty well on Sunday. Despite the occasional fight, we'll be good.

Here, at the BMMB, I've been doubting some things. Things like if people really know who I am, my name, what I'm like. It seems like only Kate knows who I am. Newbies - I don't expect them to know me. Older people - I've seen them around a lot. I think that I've tried to get to know them. I've sent people PMs before. I've addressed them by name. I don't know. It seems like people don't know me here. I've been here for almost three years. I'm a moderator for god's sake!

I know I'll sound horrible writing this, but... I've been thinking about giving the BMMB a break. Maybe for a week. Maybe a month. To see if anyone notices. I'm announcing it here. If anyone reads this, they'll know. I'll look at the boards, but I won't post. I'll answer Kate's PMs. Maybe I just won't even come here, at all, for a bit. See how it is, if it really is better not being here. I don't know. I'm just confused.

[aiden]

I changed my mind. I'm not leaving all of you. I guess I was just having a bad day yesterday. I love you all way too much.

[DCOTN]

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!! You made a journal. this wont change the amount of PMs you get daily, though.. Don't leave..or leave, but just dont leave me.

<333

[aiden]

nah, i don't need pm's from anybody but yoooou...

on good days, that is XD

i'm not going to leave you, don't worry.

[aiden]

18.06.05

warped is tomorrow. i'm meeting up with ryan there.
it should be quite fun.
i've been working hard for some money.
i've got $50.
it's amazing.

i got my hair cut friday.
it's annoying as hell.
it won't stay behind my ears or put up.
i want to kill it.

[DCOTN]

EEK who you wanna go see at Warped? Band.. wise, that is... xD

[aiden]

i saw so many bands.

once i get my pictures developed, you're getting a whole twenty page long story.

happens me and his friend spent most of the day together, because he went off with some of his old friends...

[DCOTN]

<333

[aiden]

oh my gosh...

i'm such a boy whore. i get crushes on so many people...

but he's so nice, it's amazing.

soooooooo nice -- that i'm going to write out how warped went before i explode...

[aiden]

i wrote this out and was smiling like a maniac throughout the whole thing.

Warped ‘05

This year at warped was like a dream. It was so amazing. I told Kate that I had to write it all down before I exploded. I actually had a dream where it turned out something like this. It was so awesome.

I went with my sister, mom and dad. We drove in to Milwaukee and got there at eleven. Doors opened at twelve, so we waited in line, collecting free stickers and watching this “pre-band”. I saw my cousin Greg, so we talked, laughed and spilled this free energy drink we got all down the curb. It was by pure accident, and we ended up spilling two, one right after another. The energy drink tasted like shit.

We got in, and my mom and dad went off by themselves, so me and my sister could meet up with Ryan. We had this whole ‘meeting up at warped’ thing for months. We only waited a few minutes before he came up to us, and he looked nothing like I expected. He was tall, skinny and emo. He was gorgeous. He had a friend with him, named Jeordie. Me and Jeordie didn’t really talk until an hour later.

We all wandered around for an hour or so, seeing some bands, and buying tee shirts. The fall out boy tent was first on out agenda, and we all bought something. Ryan and my sister bought this cool shirt which read “I love revenge”. Me and Jeordie bought an even cooler one that read “I am the dream. You are the dreamer.” I love it.

We went to see fall out boy, and once they came on, I was out. Everyone rushed up to the front, and it was insane. I couldn’t breathe for the life of me, and I have this fear of suffocating and dying. It took me five minutes to get out of there, and I was in the middle. There were so many people. There must have been over one thousand people, it was insane.

I got out, and saw my mom and dad. Erin, my sister, was still in the crowd, and like usual parents, they’re freaking out like maniacs and calling her on the cell. She eventually got out, but she lost her shoe in the process.

I met up with Jeordie in the back of the crowd. He had an asthma attack, and almost lost his shoe. We met up with my sister, mom and dad then. I got the cell, and then me and jeordie went off by ourselves. We wandered around like before, and ran into Ryan. He stayed in the crowd while we were in the back, and ended up crowd-surfing. He found some of his old friends, so they went off together.

We went to the epitaph part of warped, and got tsunami bomb’s autograph’s. The line was so long, so we talked a bit. He was looking at my bracelets, and then he went in, and his face was touching my arm. I could feel his lips. He was looking at my eyes, and said that he really liked my eyes. So of course, being me I blush. I was zoning out when we weren’t talking, so he kept putting his hand around my waist to move me over. He even let me skip him in line. What a gentleman…

We took turns of who chose where we were going to go. We picked bands and random tents. He chose to watch a band, and we got to sit on the grass. There must’ve been thirty people maximum. It was a pretty mellow band. While we were walking there, we locked arms and he put his hand around my waist again. This is so awesome, because no one has ever done that to me before. Right before we got to the band, we loosened our arms, to the point where we were almost holding hands. He said that I should smile, and I go “no, I have braces”, with a closed smile. So then he told me that I should smile anyways, so I did, and he smiled…at the world was perfect.

We sat down and watched the band. I had my legs crossed and stretched out on the ground while I was leaning back. His legs were crossed and he was also leaning back. He asked how I could stay like that for so long. I laughed. Whenever he leaned back, our arms were touching and we were really close together. We’d have to lean in to each other to talk. He leaned his head on my shoulder because he was hot.

We then went to see the transplants. When we were walking up so we could see, he backed up into me, so his ass touched me. It was funny. I told him that I wasn’t going to go in the front and get trampled like I was in fall out boy. He said that he didn’t want to go in the front either, because he didn’t want to lose his shoe and he wanted to stay by me. The transplants were actually very good.

We walked around (again!), with our “your turn to choose where we go” thing. Our day was pretty much spent wandering around seeing random bands and talking to each other. We sat on benches and grass and on the pavement while listening to hawthorne heights.

So, that’s really all that happened at warped, and you all must be going “so…this was fun?”. But it was. It was wonderful. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I’ve never actually had a boy who would walk around with me, and hold my side, and lean in to me, and make me smile, and like me, and compliment me, and whisper in my ear.

I don’t regret anything about warped, which is amazing. It was perfect.

[aiden]

23.06.05

today was the last day of my art class. this studio time was absolutely amazing. i got a lot accomplished and recieved so much inspiration. i met all of the highschool art teachers; mr. cole, ms. frick and mr. moran. i heard from many artists, and while one was looking at my project, he said it was very interesting, creative and good. that made me feel wonderful.

i made a 3-d poster with fall out boy, a print and started a huge portrait.

i'll post pictures when i can.

this class has been so amazingly inspiring. it's insane.

[DCOTN]

<33333

The title changed, oi!

Cant wait to see your work... I love art. ^__^

[aiden]

fall out boy love.

hopefully it will be on by tonight.

[DCOTN]

!!

come join writing4teens, you know you want to be cool...

*!

[aiden]

i'll join, it's just that i have no inspiration right now.

not for writing anyways.

i hate how it goes back and forth. one time it's like i have a head full of ideas for stories. the next time, it's all for art, and i can't think of a single idea.

i'm in the art stage right now...