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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 17, 2004 5:03:03 GMT
Chapter 15
The more I thought about a legal separation it seemed like a good idea. We wouldn't be divorced, and it would motivate him to get help if he wanted me back badly enough. It would hurt me to leave, but I thought in the long run it would be a good idea. I decided to talk to him about it. I went downstairs where he was sitting on the couch watching a movie.
"Benji, can I talk to you for a bit?" I asked, sitting down. "Sure." He said, shutting off the TV and turning to face me. "This isn't going to be easy for me at all. I want you to know that." I said. I took in a deep breath and told myself to be brave. "Maybe we should get a separation." "Wait. What?" He asked, looking shocked and confused. "I think it would be a good idea." I said. "It would give you time to get help." "I'm getting help now." He quietly said. He was crushed. I could tell. "I need you to support me." "If we stay together you won't get help and you'll continue abusing me. I can't take it anymore. I've had enough." I started getting tears in my eyes. "There are days where I've wanted to kill myself to get away from you. It would break my heart to leave you, and I thought dying would be the only way to get out of it." "Oh God." He buried his face in his hands. "While I'm gone it would be the perfect opportunity to get help. Then when you're able to control your temper I'll come back and we can be a happy family." I said, rubbing his back. "What about my little girl?" He asked with tears streaming down his face. "You're taking my daughter from me." "If we get a legal separation you'll have parenting time. You could get her on weekends. We'll work something out. I'm not taking her from you. She loves you." I comforted him. "I can't live like that." He looked at me. "I can't just see her on weekends and you just when you drop her off then come back to get her. I need you both." "Benji, I need this. You need this. Please do what's best for me for once. Please." I begged. "We won't make a big deal out of it. We'll call our attorney tomorrow and do what we need to do. OK?" "God dammit." He whispered and rubbed his face. He took in a slow, deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I don't want to do this, but if you think it'll help I will. I don't want you to be gone for a long time, so I'm going to work hard at controlling my anger." "Thank you." I whispered and hugged him. "This doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I still do with all my heart." "I love you too." He hugged me back. "Could you call me every day or at least every other day while you're gone?" "Of course." I said, stroking his hair. "Where are you going to go?" He asked. "I don't know. Probably your mom's if that's alright with you." I lied. I was going to Joel's. I would probably be able to sleep with him and not feel guilty. "That's fine." He nodded. "When are you leaving?" "I don't know." I brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe after all our paperwork is signed and everything." "OK." He quietly said. We didn't say anything for awhile. "I'm going to go upstairs and go to bed. I'm exhausted." I said, getting up. "Are you coming?" "Yeah." He nodded. We went into our bedroom and silently got ready for bed. We both climbed in and didn't say anything or face one another. For the first time in our entire marriage he didn't put his arm around me or say goodnight. Maybe the separation was a bad idea. "Benj?" I whispered. "What?" He asked. "Hold me." I started crying. He rolled over and put his arm around me. He kissed my forehead and pulled me tighter. I was feeling so many mixed emotions I was numb. All I could do was cry.
The next morning I woke up still in his arms. I carefully moved to get out of bed so I wouldn't disturb him. I went downstairs and looked up the phone number of our attorney. I thought about not calling and forgetting about the whole idea, but for Benji's sake I needed to do it. He needed help and this was the only way to go about it. Before I could dial Benji came into the kitchen.
"Do we really have to go through an attorney for this?" He asked. "Wouldn't it just be easier to separate and not have it legal?" "Yes, it would be easier, but, I'd feel better if it was legal." I said, putting the phone down. "I don't want the media getting a hold of this. I don't need this right now. We have an album coming out soon and we want good publicity for it." He said, sitting down. I threw my hands in the air. "Always your fucking career." I rolled my eyes. "Fine. If you don't want it to be legal, it won't be. I don't care." "You're not making this any easier." He sighed. "What about Amelia?" "You can have her on weekends." I said, putting on a pot of coffee. "Define 'weekends.'" He said, flatly. "Saturday morning to Sunday evening." I replied. "What?!" He stood up. "No." "That's a weekend, Benjamin." I said. "I want her Friday evening to Sunday evening." He was getting upset. "Whatever." I said. "This is why I wanted an attorney." "It's not like you won't be busy fucking Joel anyway. This way I'll just be babysitting while you're out being a slut." He said, quietly and calmly. "Excuse me?!" I got upset. "Grow up." "Noted. Got it. Thanks." He replied. "Dick." I muttered as I went upstairs and packed some of my things. I threw on some clothes and went downstairs. "It's Saturday, so I suggest you enjoy your time with your daughter. She's at your mom's, by the way." "I know where my daughter is." He said from the kitchen. "Let me know when you grow up." I said, opening the door." "I'll try to remember." He came out of the kitchen and stood in the living room. He sighed. "Let's not do this right now." "I'm sorry." I said. "I'll come get Amelia tomorrow evening." "OK." He nodded. "Will you call me when you get to Joel's? I just want to know you got there safely." "Yeah." I said. "Take care of yourself." "You too." He gave me a hug and helped me put my bag in my car. I drove over to Joel's. I was so happy to see him. He was going to be so proud of me. I pulled in his driveway, got my suitcase out of the trunk, and knocked on the door.
"No thank you little girl, I don't want any Girl Scout cookies." He said after he opened the door. "Are you sure?" I asked, smiling. "I'm sure." He smiled back. "But I put out, mister." I said. "Then come on in." He opened the door wider. He grabbed my bag and set it down by the couch. "So what's going on?" "We're separated." I told him. "That's great!" He was excited. "I'm proud of you." "I love you." I said, giving him a kiss. "I love you too." He leaned in to kiss me but stopped. He looked concerned all of a sudden. "How's Benji?" "He's taking this better than I thought he would." I answered. "We talked about it rather calmly. I'm proud of him. We worked out what we're going to do with Amelia and when I'll be going back to him." "Going back to him?" He asked, looking heartbroken. "If he can learn to control his temper I'm going back to him." I said, rubbing his back. "It's complicated." "I just thought this would be like a start for us. You'd divorce him and then you and I could get married." He held my hand. "You could make me very happy, but what about Benji?" I asked. "Fuck him. Do something for yourself for once. You deserve to be happy." He kissed my hand. "You care too much, you know that?" "I want to be happy." I said, smiling. "I haven't been in such a long time." "Then run off with me and get married. Like I said before we can move to Hawaii and have our own kids. You can become Mrs. Madden...................again." He smiled. "Benji would be fine on his own. He'll manage." "I want to see if he can control his anger." I said, looking down. His smile faded. "Whatever you want to do is fine." He said. "I can wait." "What do you mean?" I asked. "When you guys are old and if he dies first then we can get married I guess." He replied, lying down on the couch and putting his head on my lap. I laughed. "You're such a sweetheart." I ran my fingers through his hair. "I love my brother and everything, but he's always had that temper and he can't control it. I don't think he'll change." He said, looking up at me. "You're probably right." I said, lying down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe and loved. "You should marry me." He said, smiling. "I know." I smiled back. He was right. I should. I should do something to make myself happy. I was going to file for divorce.
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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 18, 2004 4:06:42 GMT
Chapter 16
Every time the word "divorce" came into my mind it made me feel a lot better about myself. I felt stronger because I was going to take a stand. I also had Joel to support me. I made up my mind and I wasn't going to back down this time.
"I've got to get to the studio." Joel said, getting up from the couch. I pouted, jokingly. "I wish I could stay, but I can't." "Yes you can. Say you can't sing today because your throat hurts." I said, grabbing his hand. I tried pulling him back down on the couch, but failed. "I finally have you and now you want to leave." "Good point. I shouldn't leave you here while you're vulnerable and emotional." He said, smiling. "Exactly." I laughed. He sat down by me, looking very serious. "What do you mean you have me?" He asked, cautiously. "I thought about it and I'm going to file for divorce." I said. I kissed his hand. "Really?" He asked quietly. "I know I shouldn't say that, but that's the best news I've ever heard." "You really want to move to Hawaii?" I asked. He layed back down next to me. "I figure Benji wouldn't find us there." He answered. "What about the band?" I asked. "They can go on without me." He replied. "You're more important." "Really? Benji always said his career came first." I said, getting tears in my eyes. He was so sweet. "That's because he never realized how great you are." He gave me a light peck on the lips. "We can't go to Hawaii." I sighed. "Why not?" He asked. "How would Benji have his parenting time? She can't fly back here every weekend." I said, sighing again. "I highly doubt he'd even get parenting time. If the judge found out about how he abuses you he wouldn't put a child's life in danger." He comforted me. "Let's call your attorney." "OK." I smiled.
After I called the attorney to set up an appointment with him to discuss the divorce I decided it would be a good idea to tell Benji. I finally got up the nerve to call him.
"Hello?" He answered. "Hi." I said, quietly. I was so scared. "Hey, I got an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow afternoon." He said, cheerfully. "That's........great, sweetheart." I was trying to think of the best way to tell him I wanted a divorce. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Um........I..............I want a divorce." I finally said it. "What the fuck?!" He yelled. I heard him hit something. I was scared it was Amelia at first, but I didn't hear any crying. "I'm going to do something for me and not you for once!" I said, wanting to cry because I was afraid of him. "You're going to regret that!" He hung up. I dropped my phone and ran upstairs to Joel.
"I don't want him to hurt me!" I started crying and I buried my face in his chest. "Slow down. What?" He asked, lifting my chin. "I told Benji I wanted a divorce and he's going to hurt me!" I was sobbing. I had never been so scared in my life. Joel hugged me and started swaying. "No he won't. I won't let him hurt you." He whispered, trying to calm me down. I stood there sobbing for about ten minutes until we heard a car door violently slam shut. Joel rushed to the window, but it was dark outside and he couldn't see much. We heard the front door fly open and someone was crying. "Amelia!" I yelled, running down the stairs. Joel followed me. Benji was standing in the living room and Amelia was on the couch. "What are you doing?!" "Where the fuck is Joel?!" He yelled. Joel stepped down to the bottom of the stairs. "Right the fuck here." He said. "This is all your fault. You told her to do it didn't you?!" Benji accused. He walked over to Joel and got in his face. "You're not taking my wife from me." "Stop it!" I yelled, getting between the two of them. Benji glared at me. "You can rot in Hell for all I care, you bitch." He said, walking towards me. He raised his fist and I tried to shield myself, but I was too late. He punched me and I fell to the floor. He kicked me in the ribs, knocking the wind out of me. I looked up and saw Joel jump at his brother and knocking him to the floor. He immediatly began punching and kicking him. Benji managed to knock Joel off balance and he got up. They had their fists up and were intensely staring at one another. I crawled into the kitchen and called the police. Both of the twins were rolling up their shirt sleeves. "How about fighting me like a man, you little pussy." Benji said, wiping the blood from beneath his nose. "My pleasure." Joel said. They both charged at each other were throwing and dodging punches. Amelia started screaming and crying. I ran to the couch and picked her up to comfort her. This distracted Joel and Benji punched him in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. Joel rolled over onto his knees and held his jaw. "You've always sucked at fighting." Benji taunted. He kicked Joel a few times. I could only stand by and watch. I couldn't stop him. Within a few minutes there was a knock at the door. I ran to open it and it was two police officers. Benji turned around. "Ah fuck!"
"What's going on, ma'am?" One of the officers asked me. "My husband beat me." I hugged my daughter closer. The officers came inside and they were staring at Benji. "Are you Benji Madden?" One of them asked. "Yeah." He answered. "We've been told you've been abusing your wife for awhile now. Looks like you got caught in the act." The other said, smirking. "Hands behind your head. We're taking you in for domestic abuse." "Fuck." He muttered. He did as he was told and he was handcuffed. He glared at me as he was escorted to the police car. "We called an ambulance for you." One of the officers said, coming back inside. He pointed to Amelia. "Is that your daughter?" "Uh huh." I nodded. She had finally stopped crying. He leaned over to say something to her, but he saw Joel from behind the coffee table. He went over to him and helped Joel roll over onto his back. "Sir, are you alright?" He asked him. Joel nodded. The officer looked back up at me. "We'll wait here until the ambulance comes." "Thank you so much!" I said, hugging the man. I felt so relieved. I didn't have to be scared anymore. "You're welcome." He patted my back. The ambulance arrived shortly after that. They took Joel and I to the hospital. After we were treated we sat in the waiting room until Robin came to pick us up.
"Thank you so much." I said, with tears in my eyes. He protected me. He protected me and he loved me. He nodded as if he were saying "you're welcome." He needed stitches under his eye which was swollen shut and some on his cheek. His lip was split open and his jaw was swollen and bruised. I managed to get away with a few stitches under my eye where he punched me before and one of my ribs was broken. Some of Joel's were too. He really took a beating for me. Amelia was asleep on my lap. Joel lovingly rubbed her back. I could tell he'd make a great father. Robin came into the waiting room. She looked distressed. Anybody in her position would be.
"Oh Lord." She said, looking at Joel. She sat by him. "Are you OK?" "I'm fine." He muttered. It hurt him to talk. "I can't believe this. I don't want to." She started to cry. Her son had just beaten up his brother and was now in jail. She gained her composure and looked over at me."You probably want to go home." "I do." I said, nodding. We walked to her car and she took us back to Joel's house. Him and I went upstairs, changed, and got into bed together.
"You must really love me." I smiled at him. He nodded. "I can't wait until Benji goes on trial for this." "Me too." He whispered between his teeth. "You poor thing." I laughed. "I love you so much." "I love you too." He half smiled. He took my left hand and pulled my rings off and gently tossed them onto the floor. He put his hand on my shoulder and his forehead on mine, closed his eyes, and went to sleep.
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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 19, 2004 5:52:03 GMT
Chapter 17
Benji went to court about the domestic abuse charges. I had to tell stories of how he abused me. It brought back so many painful memories and with each one I hated him even more. Robin, Joel, Paul, Billy, and Chris were there too. Joel was holding Amelia and every once in awhile I saw Benji look over at Joel and glare. He knew that Joel would be replacing him. He was eventually found guilty and was sentenced to 24 months in prison. While he was in jail we got our divorce. It must have been a heavy blow for him. He was in jail, and now divorced. I didn't care at all. He deserved whatever he had coming to him. Joel, Amelia, and I did move to Hawaii. We had a simple wedding ceremony on the beach and his bandmates were there to witness it. I found out that it was Billy and Paul who would call the police after they found out that I had been beat. I owed them a lot. Joel wound up adopting Amelia like he promised. Shortly after we were married I got pregnant and had a baby boy named Andrew. After about a year I was pregnant again with twins.
"Good morning." Joel said, walking into the kitchen. He put his hand on my stomach and gave me a kiss. "You're up early." "I couldn't sleep. The babies kept kicking." I said, rubbing my stomach. I was due in two months, so I was roughly the size of a house. "You behave for your mom. Don't make me come in there." Joel smiled and kissed my stomach. "Can you finish making breakfast? I should go get Andrew and Amelia." I said, starting to walk away. "Don't worry about it. I'll go. Just sit and rest." He said, helping me sit. I loved him so much. The last two years have been the best of my life.
He went into his son's room first. Andrew had just recently turned one. He looked exactly like his father. Just like Amelia looks like her father. Joel reached inside the crib and gently rubbed the baby's cheek. Andrew woke up, looked at Joel, stretched, and then smiled. "Come on, Drew." Joel took him out of his crib. He then went into Amelia's room. She was four already. He sat down on her bed and gently shook her. "Wake up, Meelers." "Why?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. "Mommy's making breakfast." He replied. "Pancakes?" She asked, sitting up. "Yep." He nodded. She got out of bed and grabbed the teddy bear Benji gave her. I don't think she remembers her dad. I was actually pretty thankful for that. Joel brought our kids into the kitchen. "Hi mommy!" Amelia said, running at me. She hugged my legs and I stooped down to give her a kiss. "Hi Amelia!" I said, giving her another kiss. Joel put Andrew in his highchair. I went over and kissed my son. I put plates in front of Joel, who was reading the newspaper, and in front of Amelia. I put pancakes on their plates and got some Cheerios for Andrew. "Ummm. Laura." Joel said, looking over at me. He looked worried. "What's wrong?" I asked, also getting worried. "There's a little story in here about Benji getting released from prison." He said. "Good for him." I shrugged. I went back to feeding Andrew. "I'm not worried. He doesn't know where we are." "That's true." He said, putting the paper down. He started eating. "I just wonder if he's OK." "I try not to think about him." I said, looking down. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically. "It's OK." I went over to him and gave him a kiss. Andrew started fussing and knocked the cereal onto the floor. "Do you think we'll be able to handle four kids?" He asked, looking at Andrew. "I think so." I patted his back and went over to Andrew and picked him up. He stopped crying. "I've got to get going." Joel said, looking at his watch. He was now a producer at a recording studio. "Would you mind if I took Drew? The guys want to see him." "No, go ahead." I said. I handed him over to his dad. "I'll just take him while he's in his pajamas. I don't have time to dress him." He said, almost wanting my approval. I nodded. I followed him to the front door. "Be careful." I said, putting my arms around his waist. "I will." He gave me a long, passionate kiss. "I love you." "I love you too." I replied. I watched him put our son in his car and drive off. I was so happy I finally found the love of my life. I rubbed my stomach and walked back into the kitchen. Amelia was still eating. The phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered. "Hey hey." It was Chris. "Hi Chris!" I said. "How are you?" "Still kickin. How about you?" He asked. "I'm fine." I answered. "I was just wondering if you'd like a few visitors in two weeks?" He asked. "I'd love to have you guys over." I replied. They would visit every other month. "Sweet. All the details aren't worked out yet, but I, or one of my merry men will call you about it." He said. "Alright, Robin Hood." I rolled my eyes. "I'll talk to you later." He said. "Buh bye!" "Bye." I hung up.
After Amelia finished eating we sat on the couch and started watching TV. She was still a fan of "Dora the Explorer" so we had to watch that. I heard a car door shut and I thought Joel had forgotten something, but someone knocked at the door. I slowly got up and opened the door.
"Benji!" I gasped, and I tried to close the door. He put his hand on the door and held it open. He looked thinner. He looked at my stomach and sighed angrily. "What do you want?" "I want to see my daughter." He said. "You don't have any right to see your daughter!" I yelled. During the divorce his parental rights were taken away. Legally he had no right to see or even talk to Amelia. "I want to see my daughter!" He said, louder. "No!" I tried to close the door again. He was still holding it open. He hit it with his shoulder and it flew out of my hand. "Where is she?" He asked, glaring at me. "Don't be mean to my mommy!" Amelia said, getting off the couch and putting her hands on her hips. "Amelia?" His expression softened when he saw her. He stooped down in front of her. "Don't you remember me?" "No." She shook her head. "How could you not remember me?" He asked. He pointed to her bear. "I gave you that bear." "No you didn't." She shook her head again. "My daddy did." "I am your daddy!" He tried to give her a hug. She backed away. "You're not my daddy!" She said. He got up and looked at me. "What have you been doing to her?" He asked. He was getting upset. "Benji, she was two years old the last time she saw you! She wouldn't remember you!" I said, loudly. "I want my daughter back!" He yelled and violently grabbed my arms. I started crying. I thought I was done with this. "Don't hurt my mommy!" Amelia yelled and kicked his shin. He put his hand on her head and pushed her. Her forehead hit the corner of the coffee table. She started screaming and crying. He grabbed her by her shirt. "Remember me!" He yelled at her. I saw blood gushing from her forehead and I snapped. I shoved him as hard as I could. "Get away from my daughter!!" I screamed. He stumbled a bit, but regained his balance. He turned around, walked towards me and punched me. I fell to my knees and held my face. I felt blood. I prayed for Joel to come home. Benji took off his belt and hit me with it several times. "Stop!" Amelia yelled and threw the TV remote at Benji. He dropped his belt and grabbed her by the hair. I got up, grabbed his belt, and wrapped it around his neck and started squeezing. He dropped to his knees. He looked up at me and dug his fingernail into the cut I had on my face. I screamed and let go of the belt. He wrapped his hands around my throat and started strangling me. I could see pure hatred in his eyes. I fell to my knees, and then onto my back. Amelia was screaming and crying. I looked over at her. "Amelia." I whispered. She was the last thing I remembered.
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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 20, 2004 2:55:19 GMT
Chapter 18
A few hours later Joel came home. He took Andrew out of his car and walked into the house. Benji was sitting on the floor cradling my lifeless body and crying. Joel's jaw dropped and he didn't know what to do. Benji looked up at him.
"I didn't mean to." He said, in between sobs. "What happened?" Joel asked slowly. He was still in shock. "I killed her." Benji answered, sobbing even harder. Joel stumbled back against the door. He felt like he was going to be sick. He slowly set Andrew down. It finally sank in that I was dead. He screamed and fell to his knees. He grabbed my hand and started crying. "Please wake up." He begged me. "Please." "I'm sorry." Benji whispered. Joel didn't pay any attention to him. He put his hand on my stomach. He knew that if I wasn't living, my babies wouldn't be either. "Oh God." He sobbed. "Please forgive me." Benji asked, grabbing Joel's arm. "Where's Amelia?" Joel asked, suddenly remembering about her. Benji shrugged. He grabbed Andrew and ran around the house looking for her. The last place he looked was her room. He slowly went in. "Amelia?" "Go away!" She yelled. She was inside her closet. Joel opened the door. She was huddled in the back, hugging her bear. "Daddy!" "I'm here, baby." He said, trying to comfort her. She crawled out of her closet and hugged him. "Is mommy sleeping?" She asked. "Yeah." He replied, swallowing hard and getting choked up. "Mommy's sleeping." "Did the bad man go away?" She asked. "He will soon." He answered. He picked her up and put her on her bed. He put Andrew next to her. "I need you to be a big girl and watch your brother OK?" "Yes, daddy." She nodded. He left the room and went back downstairs. Benji hung up his phone.
"I just turned myself in." He said, flatly. "Good." Joel replied. He was numb. I was dead and so were his unborn children. He wanted Benji to leave. He had nothing to say to him. "Benji, she was due in two months. She was having twins. You didn't just kill my wife, the woman I loved more than anything, you killed my kids. I'm going to make sure you never see the light of day, outside of a prison courtyard, ever again." "Joel, I-" He trailed off. He sat on the couch and buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. Joel stood there, straight faced, and not moving. The cops showed up with an ambulance. Benji opened the door, and stood there with his hands behind his head. He was handcuffed and led out to the police car. The paramedics brought a gourney into the house and put my body onto it. They covered me with a white sheet. Joel could only stand there and watch. A police officer went in to question him, but he couldn't talk. He was still in shock. More police officers were in the house now and time seemed to move in slow motion. Everything was blurry. He felt like he was going to get sick again. "Daddy?" Amelia asked, tugging on his pants. Joel finally screamed again and started sobbing. He dropped onto his knees. Amelia hugged him. "Don't cry, daddy. The bad man is gone." "Yes he is." He hugged her back. He squeezed her tighter and rubbed the back of her head.
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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 21, 2004 3:55:20 GMT
Chapter 19
My body was flown back to California. I had a beauiful funeral. A lot of people came to pay their respects. Benji wasn't allowed to be there. My family didn't want him there. Joel gave the eulogy, but he couldn't make it all the way through. He got too choked up, so Robin finished it. Instead of being buried, Joel had a small mauseleum built for me. He was the only one who had a key to get in. He would visit me every Sunday. This time he was visiting me he had bad news for me. He went through his ritual of saying a little prayer for me, then setting my picture on top of my coffin, which was encased in marble.
"I hope you won't be mad at me, but my mom recently moved back to DC and I sent Amelia along with her." He told me. "I can't look at her, Laura. She looks exactly like Benji. When I look at her, I see him. I love her more than anything, but she's a constant reminder that you're gone. I tried to avoid looking at her, but that's not fair to her. I figured my mom would be able to take better care of her. I know it was a horrible thing to do, but I need time to heal." He got choked up and paused. "I wish I hadn't left that day. If I stayed I could've protected you and you'd still be here. I shouldn't blame myself, but I do. You know, sometimes I think about what it would've been like to have twins. I know what it's like to be one, but I'd like to watch them interact with one another, and with Andrew and Amelia." He looked at his watch. "I've got to get going. They're expecting me at the studio. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I'm sure you're taking care of those babies. I can't wait until I get to see you and them. Give them my love." He grabbed the picture. "I love you so much. I'll see you next week."
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Post by Whole Lotta Ugly on Dec 22, 2004 5:38:13 GMT
Chapter 20
After Amelia was sent away Joel fell into a deep depression. He wouldn't eat or sleep. He only thought about me. As the years went by Andrew took on the responsibility of trying to help his dad. He would force him to eat a little bit every day. No child should have to take care of a parent. After a few years he realized this and got help for himself. He still thought about me all the time. He never took his ring off, and he didn't want to. He was still my husband. One day he received a phone call saying that Robin was killed in a car accident. No one else could take care of Amelia, so he volunteered to take her back and make things right. Twelve years after she was sent away she returned back to Joel.
"That's the last box, right?" Andrew asked, putting a box down. He was now 13. "Yeah. Thanks, Andrew." Amelia, who was now 16, said. She looked around her new bedroom and sighed. She didn't want to be there. There was a knock at her door. "Come in." "Hey, do you need anything?" Joel asked, coming into the room. His depression from years before had not been kind to him. He looked older than he was. "I don't want to see you right now." Amelia said, turning away. "Amelia." Joel looked at the floor. "You sent me to live with grandma! My own father didn't want me! Am I supposed to want to be your friend?" She got tears in her eyes. "Your grandma never told you?" He asked, hurt. "Told me what?" She asked. "All she told me about you is that you were in a band, are my dad, and that you didn't want me." "Only one of those is true." He said, disappearing from the doorway. He came back a few minutes later with a box. He sat down on her bed and motioned for her to sit next to him. He opened it and there were magazines, CDs, DVDs, and posters from when he was in Good Charlotte. He picked up a magazine and handed it to her. "Is that you?" She asked, pointing to him on the cover. He nodded. She pointed to Benji. "I've seen him before." "Where?" Joel asked, a bit concerned that she might remember him. "I've had a recurring nightmare ever since I was little that he's strangling a woman. I recognize his tattoos." She said, quietly. "It scares me to death." "Oh God." He whispered. "Grandma told me he and his wife died in a car accident a long time ago." She said, looking over at Joel. "That sounds like something she'd say." He shook his head in disbelief. "She lied to me?" She asked, confused. He nodded. "What happened to him?" "He's serving out a life sentence in prison." Joel answered, looking at the magazine cover. "For what?" She asked. "Murder." Joel looked over at her. Amelia's eyes got wide. "Wait. I don't understand." She said, trying to grasp what was going on. "I really didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this." Joel said, nervously rubbing his legs. "Tell me what?" She asked. He took in a deep breath. "I'm not your biological father." He told her. She looked shocked. "Then who is?" She asked. "Benji." He pointed to the magazine. "Wait. What? I have no clue what's going on." She started to cry. Joel took out his wallet from his back pocket. He showed her a picture of me. "That's your mom. Her and Benji were married, and they had you." He paused. "Benj.................Benji physically abused your mom. She tried to leave several times, but, her heart was too big and she felt bad for him, so she'd go back. One day she left and came to my house. He showed up, him and I wound up fighting, and he was arrested for domestic violence. Your mom filed for divorce while he was in prison." "That's it?" She asked. He shook his head. "I loved your mother. I loved her so much. I took her and you to live in Hawaii. We got married and I adopted you. Then Andrew was born and she was pregnant again with twins. Benji was released from prison and he got our address from our mom. He visited while I was out of the house. He demanded to see you, but his parental rights were taken away, so your mom said no. They argued and you tried to stop him from hurting her. He shoved you and your head hit the coffee table. That's where the scar on your forehead comes from." He gently touched the scar and half smiled. "He was beating her with his belt and you tried to stop him. He went to hurt you again, but your mom grabbed his belt and tried to choke him with it. He overpowered her and strangled her. That's what your nightmare is. You watched your mom getting killed. I'm so sorry." "Oh." She said, in shock. "My mom died to protect me?" "She would've done anything for you. She loved you more than anything." He told her, with tears streaming down his face. "I miss her so much." "If I had known this before I wouldn't have been so mad at you all these years." She put her head on his shoulder. "It's OK. I think it's better that you didn't know." He said, putting his arm around her. She looked at his left hand. "Are you remarried?" She asked. "No." He shook his head. "I could never love anyone as much as I loved your mother. Besides you and Drew." "Do you still talk to my dad?" She asked after a long pause. "We write letters back and forth constantly. He asks about you a lot. He loved you, I want you to remember that." He answered. "Would it be OK if I wrote him a letter?" She asked, looking up at Joel. "I think he'd like that very much." He smiled. She smiled back and started rummaging through the box. She pulled out a pile of magazines and looked at all the covers. "Now that I see him better I look like my dad." She said, looking at a picture of Benji. "You always have." He replied. There was a long pause. "Do you think my mom would be proud of me?" She asked. "Very." He nodded. He got choked up again. "One of these days you should tell me about her." She said, still looking at the magazines. "I will." He said, wiping a few tears away. He started to leave the room. "Hey dad." She stopped him. He turned. "You were quite the looker back in the day!" "Well, I can't deny it, can I?" He said, jokingly. They both laughed. "You should get some sleep. You've had a long day." "Yeah." She nodded. She got up and gave him a hug. "Goodnight." "Goodnight." He kissed her forehead. After he left she got into her pajamas and walked over to the window to close the blinds. She looked up at the sky and smiled. "Thanks mom." She whispered. She closed the blinds, climbed into bed, and went to sleep.
You're welcome.
THE END
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Post by **ThickerThanWater** on May 22, 2005 1:29:06 GMT
whoa, this story is soooooooooo good! it' so refreshing to read a story on this board that isn't completely glorifing life with benji madden! good job!
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