Best Kept Secret By Taurence

[Kezzie]

Chapter1:

She stared silently out of the limousine window; ignoring what was taking place around her. She nervously awaited her destination; knowing he would be there. There was no closure between them and that was entirely her fault. But now, for the first time in a year, she will be forced to face him.

“Hellloo, earth to Vanessa!” her fiancée called out; waving his hand frantically in her face.
“Hmm?” She turned and looked up into his pale face. His eyes were bright and gleaming, she guessed hers would be too if she had just won the most prestigious award in music.
“You okay?”<br>“Yea, yea, I’m fine.” Vanessa faked a smile and watched as he placed a small kiss on her forehead.
“Good. Baby I’m just so happy. I mean a Grammy. DAMN!”<br>“Yeah, I know. I’m really proud of you, Jacob.” she looked around at all the members of the band. They were each drinking, smoking, and being fondled by various girls; truly living up the sex, drugs and rock and roll persona. “I’m proud of all of you, congrads.” The end of her sentence was met with shouts of celebration.
Vanessa wasn’t really proud of them, how could she be proud of a band with such low morals as them? They weren’t a great band at all, completely undeserving of their award. Yet, in this day and age as long as you’re young and attractive — well you know what happens.

The limo was brought to a halt and people began piling out; each making their way into the after party which waited. Vanessa looked over at her fiancée, waiting for him to make his exit, only he did not. He waited until every one was out of the limo and then he began to play with the large diamond adorning Vanessa’s finger.
“I love you.” He said without looking up at her, almost as if he was expressing his deep desires for her engagement ring.
“Love you too.” She lied.

He pulled her out from the black stretch limousine and held her hand as they walked down the large stretch of reporters and cameras that led to the club.
“Jacob! Jacob! Can you sign this?”<br>“Sure!”<br>He was quick to let go of Vanessa’s hand and join the group of scantily dressed girls. He signed a few autographs, took tons of pictures, and accepted all of their praises. Jacob did all this as Vanessa stood off in the background trying hard not to look or feel awkward.

Finally he rejoined her and walked before her as they entered the club. As soon as they stepped foot into the large club, Jacob was swarmed with friends, friends of friends, and people pretending to be his friends.
“Congratulations! Looking good! You kick ass!” People all called out simultaneously.

Vanessa gazed around the crowd, searching for an escape. Her eyes stopped when they reached the bar area and set upon a familiar face. “Joel.”

She walked away from her fiancée and his group of “followers”, pushing her way through the crowd and then finally reaching the bar.

Vanessa walked up behind Joel and watched as he sipped quietly on a glass of what she presumed to be Coke.
“Come here often hot stuff?” She whispered into his ear in her best seductress like voice.
She saw a grin creep across his face and he quickly turned around and pulled her into a warm embrace.
“VANESSA!” he yelled “I didn’t think you would come. But I’m hella glad you did.”[/

[Kezzie]

Chapter 2:
He let her out of the hug and began to examine her. She knew her outfit of choice would surprise him. It was nothing like the things she would normally wear. Vanessa hated it; it was tight, black, and skimpy. All the reasons why Jacob made her wear it.

“Damn V.”<br>“Shut up!” Vanessa exclaimed as she playfully punched him in the arm.
He stared her body up and down. “I’m just saying that’s all.”<br>She rolled her eyes at him and he finally come back down to earth. “Where’s your fiancée?” He asked with raised eye brows.
She gestured over to the crowd of people hanging over Jacob.
“Oh” Joel replied “Well…let’s go some where’s quieter.”<br>
He took her hand and walked by her side as they made their way through the crowd, down a hall way, and into a large room. They entered and Vanessa was overwhelmed with a bevy of familiar faces.

Seated at a large round table were members of Good Charlotte and a few of their friends. All being friend’s with Jacob’s band, they were there to show their support. Yet for some reason they were all in this room, crowded around a table, playing poker.

Surprise was apparent on their faces as they watched her enter the room. Their card game came to a halt and conversation stopped. She guessed that they, much like Joel, were surprised she had showed up.

“Damn guys don’t stare too hard.” Vanessa said sarcastically.

“Vanessa!” Chris jumped up from the table and gave her a huge hug while spinning her needlessly around the room.
“Nice to see you too Chris.”

The rest of the guys around the table greeted her with hugs and a kiss on the cheek. She sat down next to Paul’s girlfriend and took in her surroundings. Joel joined in on the game and Vanessa looked around the room. Someone was missing, and she was rather glad he was too.

“So how have you been V?” Paul’s girlfriend, Alexis asked.
“Fine” Vanessa responded with a little nod.
“Sooo…” she began
“Sooo…”
Alexis laughed. “Let me see the ring silly.”<br>“Oh” Vanessa laughed also and reached out her hand to show Alexis the ring in which Jacob had given her.
“Wow! Vanessa it’s beautiful!”<br>
“Hey, I want to see too!” Billy came over and studied the ring himself. “Shit Vanessa. You think it’s big enough?” he exclaimed, taking her hand into his.
Vanessa laughed a little in embarrassment and looked over at Joel. She caught him shaking his head slightly in disgust as Billy showed her ring off to the rest of the room. ‘Wonder what’s up with him?’ She said to herself as she watched Joel return back to his game.

A few drinks later and Vanessa was in dire need of a restroom. When I say “drinks” I mean soda, Vanessa didn’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or anything else.
“I’ll be right back” she notified Alexis “I have to pee.”<br>“Okay. Don’t fall in.”
Vanessa laughed at Alexis’ drunkenness.

She stumbled out of the room, drink in hand, and walked down the hall in search of a bathroom. Along the way Vanessa clumsily tripped over her own two feet (stilettos were harder to walk in than she thought), and accidentally spilt her glass of Diet Coke all over someone else.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Here let me help you clean that.” She apologized profusely as she tried wiping the spilt soda from the person’s black shirt using only her bare hand.
“Shit! I just got this shirt!” He shouted at the same time as Vanessa stated her apology.

“It’s just a shirt, damn.” Vanessa snapped. Then, finally, she looked up and realized who was standing before her. Vanessa’s thoughts were suddenly washed away and she was in complete awe. He was the person she dreaded seeing, and now he was standing before her trying, unsuccessfully, to remove her spilt drink from his clothing.

He was still looking down at the liquid on his MADE tee when he spoke again.
“Yeah, well, it’s special to me.” After he spoke, he finally looked up at Vanessa. His eyes were wide in shock and his mouth practically hung open. His brown eyes met with hers as they stood there, both of them unsure of exactly what to say.

[Kezzie]

Chapter 3:

“Benji boo!” a short, brunette walked up and wrapped her petite arms around Benji’s waist. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”<br>Vanessa looked down to where the girl’s hands covered Benji’s stomach and couldn’t help but notice a small diamond across her ring finger.
Vanessa then looked up at the brunette.
“Oh my goodness” the girl yelled “your…your that dress designer…your Vanessa Lewis.”<br>Vanessa couldn’t help but appreciate the fame, and business, that being engaged to the famous Jacob Sketch brought to her.
“Yep, that’s me.”<br>“Oh my…I’m such a huge fan.” She practically threw Benji out of her way and extended her hand out to Vanessa’s. “I’m Candy Zater.” She introduced herself.
“Hi Candy. Nice to meet you.” Vanessa fought back the urge to break Candy’s tiny little hand.

“And this is my fiancée, Benji Madden. I’m sure you know him from the band Good Charlotte.”<br>Vanessa looked up at Benji whom was still staring contently at her. He had changed a lot in a year. More tattoos, more piercings, and a little less weight. He looked good, really good.
“Yea, I’ve met Benji before.”<br>Candy watched as Benji and Vanessa stared at each other. Confusion was clear on her well tanned face.
“Oh… well… anyways. You must design my wedding gown for me.”<br>
Her comment snapped Vanessa back to reality. ‘I must?’<br>“Um, well I’ll have to get back to you on that.”<br>Candy nodded her head. “Of course, I’m sure you’re busy with your engagement and all. Well…Oh my…isn’t that Misty over there. MISTY!” Candy took off and went chasing after a bimbo across the hallway from them.

Benji and Vanessa stood there awkwardly. “Congratulations” she whispered to him. Then she brushed passed him and started down the hall.
“Vanessa…” she heard him calling after her. Vanessa ignored him though, and went on her way.

She found the bathroom and practically ran in. She leaned over the sink trying to pull her thoughts together. If she would have known back then, what she knew now, Vanessa would have made different choices.

**Flash Back**

Benji picked Vanessa up and threw her over his shoulders as she kicked and screamed to be released. “Benjamin Madden! I’m going to tell! Stop it! Put me down!”<br>He finally dropped her petite body down onto the bed, which was covered in white linen, matching the white bed room they were in.
He then lifted her shirt and blew onto her stomach.
“Stop it! Your hot breath is going to burn the baby!” She exclaimed in laughter.
He immediately stopped what he was doing and looked up at her face in confusion.
“The baby? What baby?”<br>She took his hand and placed it gently on her stomach. “Our baby” Vanessa whispered. Then, she watched as a smile slowly crept across his face.

**End Flash Back**


Vanessa heard the bathroom door swing open and watched as Benji locked the door behind him.
“What are you doing?” she asked as he walked over to her.
“Vanessa I’ve been trying to talk to you for over a year now, and now that I’ve got you here we’re going to talk.”<br>“Yeah right” She tried making her way to the door but Benji stopped her and held her in his arms.
“Benji why are you doing this?” She asked as she pushed him away. “You’ve obviously moved on so let’s just leave it at that.”<br>“I’m not the only one who’s engaged.” He stated.
“Your right, we’re both engaged, to other people. So let’s just forget it, okay?”<br>“No!”<br>“Why Benji? Why can’t we just forget any thing ever happened and move on? Can’t you see how much you’re hurting me?”<br>“But I still love you Vanessa!” He yelled brining silence to the room.
Vanessa shook her head at him. “Don’t say something you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”<br>
Vanessa unlocked the door and left out of the bathroom, heading back to the room in which Joel was in.

She found Joel sitting alone on a couch, walked up to him and stood before him.
“V? What’s wrong?” he asked as he noticed her teary eyes.
“Joel, every night for the past year I have talked to you either on the phone or on the net. And not once could you find the balls to tell me he was engaged, Joel? Why? Why wait and have me find out the hard way?”<br>“V, I’m sorry. I knew you would get upset, I was scared to tell you.”<br>She shook her head and brought her hands up to her face.
“V, he doesn’t love her. He just proposed to her because you got engaged to Jacob. He was jealous. He just wants to get his mind off of you.” Joel stood up and wrapped his arms around Vanessa.
“Why did I leave him Joel? Why did I have to be so dumb?”<br>He rubbed her back in an attempt to comfort her.

“Come on let’s get out of here.” He suggested.

[Kezzie]

Chapter 4:

Vanessa wiped her eyes and they began walking out of the room. “I just need to find Jacob first.”<br>“Okay, I’ll come with you.”<br>
The two walked along the hallway and Vanessa looked into various rooms in search of her fiancé. She came to the last room at the end of the hallway and opened the door slightly. There he was, Jacob Sketch, her husband-to-be, with some slut seated upon his lap kissing his bare neck.
“You asshole!” Vanessa yelled out.
Jacob threw the girl off of him and tried to make his way over to Vanessa. She threw her engagement ring at him and ran down the hall. He tried running after her but Joel’s fist stopped him.

Vanessa made her way through the crowds of people, passed the paparazzi, and stopped when she felt she could run no more.
She stood on the sidewalk trying to regain her breath. Within a few seconds Joel joined her.
“V, you okay?” Vanessa turned around to face him and gave him a big hug.
“Never been better.” She replied.
He pulled away slightly and looked at her as if she was some strange creation. “What? You just caught you fiancée with another girl.”<br>“I know isn’t it great? Now I don’t have to marry that son of a bitch.”<br>Joel laughed at her response. “Only you V, only you.”<br>He returned to the hug and played in her hair. They stood for a few seconds just taking every thing in, and then Vanessa pulled away from him.

“So where’s your car?” She asked wanting drastically to know what kind of car Joel had tonight. He was obsessed with cars and each time she saw him he was out in some thing different.
“Oh, over here.”
Vanessa followed Joel over to a silver, Bentley convertible. “Damn.” She studied the car in amazement.
“I know, hot huh?”<br>“Very. Can I drive?”<br>“I dunno V, I mean it’s new and everything.”<br>“What? You owe me mister; remember that whole Benji engagement situation?”<br>Joel thought carefully about the predicament she was placing him in as Vanessa made a frown.
“Okay, Okay. Here” He handed her the keys and she ran joyfully to the driver’s side of the vehicle.

They got in and both placed their seat belts on. “Now please be careful Vanessa.”<br>“I will, I promise. Stop being such an old man.”<br>
Vanessa started up the car and they headed down the street. They had the radio blaring and were both very content. Vanessa was heading towards the hotel where all her belongings were. She and Joel had decided she would stay at his place for the night.

They drove along, she was doing well over the speed limit, about 70 in a 45. Joel didn’t seem to care much; his leg rested on top of the dash boar which seemed odd (he was actually going to risk putting dirt onto the car?). He just sung along with the music, they even exchanged smiles every now and then. Vanessa was happy. She was no longer being forced into a marriage she had no desire for. Yet, looking at Joel brought back thoughts of Benji, and her heart began to feel heavy.

**Flash Back**

“Ben, I don’t think we should tell EVERY body just yet. I mean with ya’ll new record coming out and all I don’t want my pregnancy to over shadow it.”<br>“Yea I know. But I’m just so happy. I mean we’re going to be parents!”<br>“I know.” They both smiled as he took her hand in his.
“Let’s just tell our families, okay?” He pleaded.
Vanessa hesitated for a second but gave in to his goofy grin. “Okay Benji.”<br>“YES! I’m going call my mom!”<br>
**End Flash Back**

VANESSA”S POINT OF VIEW
(A/N: I changed point of views here b/c the story was orginially written in Vanessa's point of view and I thought that it sounded better with her explaining this last bit of the chapter)

I broke out of my day dream and noticed a car in front of us. It was swerving in and out of the lane, obviously being operated by a drunk driver. I removed my foot from the gas petal in an attempt to slow down a bit, trying to distance myself from the car. But, before I could even reach a speed of 50 the car in front of us came to a sudden halt.
“V, watch out!” Joel screamed. I had no time to stop. I hit the car, sending our body’s jerking forward. My head hit the steering wheel and I was knocked unconscious.
******
“Miss, are you okay? Miss? Miss talk to me.”<br>
My vision was foggy. I could see flashes of red and blue lights; I heard the sound of an ambulance.
‘Joel? Where’s Joel.’ I thought to myself. I didn’t care why my arm was aching so terribly or why I could barely move; I just wanted to see Joel.

“Miss? We’re going to be taking you to a hospital.”
My vision became a little clearer and I saw a man in uniform standing over me. I was being carried into an ambulance.
“Joel?” I asked. It was the only word I could force out of my mouth. As I spoke I felt a sharp pain in my cheek.
“Joel? Is that your friend?” the paramedic asked. I tried to nod my head in response but the brace around my neck prevented me from moving.

“Yea” I replied softly and painfully.
“He’s going to be fine. He’s on his way to the hospital also.”

[Kezzie]

Chapter 5:

Vanessa was extremely uncomfortable. She had pains in every ligament of her body, especially her left arm. She couldn’t move. Her body was strapped down tightly to the gurney. Vanessa was scared and worried. She wanted to see Joel. She wanted him to tell her he was fine, not some strange paramedic.

Vanessa fought to stay awake as they drove her to the nearest hospital. Finally, after what seemed like hours but in reality were only minutes, they arrived.

For hours upon hours she was poked, questioned, and drugged. She was told that she had a broken arm, (of course) and some minor scratches and bruises. Her jaw was badly cut which was why it hurt for her to speak. When she would ask about Joel all they could tell her was that he was going to be fine. Vanessa wanted to see him badly but they would not allow her to.

They brought her to her room and asked if there was any one she wanted them to call. There was only one person she could actually think of calling.


“V? Oh my God V. I came as fast as I could. Are you okay? Where’s Joel?” Benji ran into the room full of questions and full of fear.

Once Benji fully saw the condition Vanessa was in he was clearly taken back.
“V…” he fell onto her body crying. “V I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for every thing that ever happened. V I just want to make everything alright between us.”<br>The state her body was in made him realize things could have been a lot worse tonight. There was a chance that Vanessa and Joel couldn’t have made it.
“Ben, it’s okay.” Vanessa reassured him. She tried rubbing his back but her body was in to much pain to move.
He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. “I love you, and I want to be with you and only you.” He spoke softly as he looked into her eyes.
Vanessa was about to confess a truth; a truth that she had known for the past year but tried ignoring desperately. “Benji, I love you too.”<br>
“Mr. Madden?” The nurse interrupted. Benji looked up at her and nodded yes.
“You can see your brother now.”<br>“Okay thank you miss.”<br>Benji looked down at Vanessa one more time and gave her a comforting smile before he left to see Joel.

Vanessa sat waiting anxiously for Benji to return. She wanted to know what happened to Joel; she wanted to know what kind of condition he was in. She was scared, terrified, and felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Vanessa wanted to cry but the tears on her cheeks made the open wounds sting. So she held back all her emotions and waited.

Vanessa pictured Joel, lying hopelessly in a hospital bed; tubes and needles and bandages covering his damaged body. Yet, he was surrounded by family and friends; he was always surrounded by family and friends. While Vanessa lied in this room- alone.

After a few minutes all of her thinking mixed with the pain killers wore Vanessa out and put her to sleep.

**Flash Back**

Benji and Vanessa entered their home. They were both worn out after celebrating their pregnancy with their families. Every one was overjoyed. It was going to be the first grandchild for both families. Both their mom’s were already planning out how they would spoil the child.

Benji noticed Vanessa was tired and carefully scooped her up into his arms.
“Ben? What are you doing?” She laughed.
“Carrying the love of my life off to our bed room so she can rest.”<br>Vanessa laughed at his comment.
“I love you, you know that huh?” She asked as he carefully placed her in the bed.
“Yes Vanessa and you know that I love you huh?”<br>Vanessa nodded her head yes and he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. “Now get some rest.”<br>
**End Flash Back**

[Kezzie]

Chapter 6:
The feeling of some one walking into the room awaked Vanessa. She had a strange quality in herself that whenever she was asleep and someone was about to enter the room she was in, she was awoken. It was almost as if she could sense their arrival in her sleep.

Vanessa opened her eyes and the pain in her arm came rushing back to her. Her head wasn’t feeling so well either.
“Owe!” She whined.
“Still in pain sweet heart?” Vanessa turned her head to the side to see Ms. Madden seated next to her.

A smile was immediately brought to Vanessa’s face. Even after she and Benji had their falling out, his mother would call her at least once a week just to make sure she was doing fine. Ms. Madden was a wonderful and caring woman. She was also very religious which Vanessa found comforting.

Vanessa nodded her head yes in response to Ms. Madden’s question. “What are you doing in here? Shouldn’t you be with Joel?”<br>“Honey, I’ve been with Joel practically all night. You deserve some attention too.” She rested her hand on Vanessa’s.
Vanessa’s smile faded as she thought about Joel and remembered the scenes from the night before.
“How is he?” she asked curiously.
Ms. Madden sighed. “He’s fine. But you know Joel, he cries over a paper cut.”<br>Vanessa grinned a little at her comment.
“He’s been asking for you.” Joel’s mother added. Knowing this made Vanessa a little comforted.

“Ms. Madden I’m really sorry about all this.”<br>“Now, Vanessa it was only an accident. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about it, not even for a second. You understand?”<br>Vanessa nodded her head.

“When can I see him?”<br>“I guess when the doctor comes check out your stats you can ask her to let you see him. Whenever that may be.”<br>
“Actually, that would be now.” A young, smiling woman entered the room dressed in a white lab coat and carrying a clip board. “Hello Vanessa” she continued “I’m Dr. Marse” she made known as she walked up to the bed.
“Dr. Marse is Joel’s doctor also.” Ms. Madden whispered to Vanessa as the doctor checked the monitors and such.

“Umm, Dr. Marse, do you think it would be okay if I saw Joel now?”<br>“Well I don’t see why not” she said as she wrote a few things down on her clip board “do you think you’re strong enough to walk?”<br>“Yeah I think so.”
“Okay well, just keep your i.v. in and be sure to get right back into bed as soon as you’re done visiting.”<br>Vanessa nodded her head in understanding. “Thanks.”<br>“No problem. I will be back in a few hours to see how you are doing. You will probably have to stay here another day just to make sure every thing checks out alright.”<br>“Okay.”<br>
The doctor left out of the room and Vanessa turned her attention back to Ms. Madden. She was smiling at Vanessa as always.
“Need some help?”<br>Vanessa laughed. “Yeah I think so.”<br>Vanessa slowly sat up in the bed. ‘Okay no pain so far’ she thought. Then she swung her legs over to the other side of the bed. As she stood up slowly Ms. Madden helped her. Vanessa winced in pain; her legs were aching as was her back.

“You okay? You sure you don't want a wheel chair?” Ms. Madden asked.
"No I'm fine." Vanessa responded. She then grabbed onto the machine that her i.v. was hooked up to and began dragging it along with her as she walked down the hallway. Ms. Madden walked closely behind and watched to make sure that Vanessa was okay.
“He’s in here.” She informed Vanessa when they got to Joel’s hospital room door.
Vanessa took a deep breath and watched as Ms. Madden held the door open for her.

Vanessa walked in and saw the entire Madden family spread out across the room. Flowers and balloons adorned the room. Then she saw Joel. He was lying in bed looking up at the television. His arm was in a sling, his leg (the same leg which he had rested on the dashboard) was elevated and in a cast.

As they entered the room further every one turned and looked at Vanessa. She felt stupid, she felt as if they all hated her.
“Vanessa!” Joel’s younger sister exclaimed as she ran over to her and gave her a hug, being careful not to hurt Vanessa’s arm.
She pulled away and Vanessa saw smiles upon every one’s faces.
“Hey there girl.” Joel’s older brother greeted her with a wave.
“Hey” she waved back.

Then Vanessa brought her attention to Joel. He looked as if he was fighting back tears yet he struggled to keep a grin on his face.
“Come here you.” He whispered and motioned for her to come over.
Vanessa walked over to him and began to battle tears herself, but as she watched a single tear drop down his face she couldn’t hold hers back any longer.
Vanessa placed her right arm over his chest, rested her head on his shoulder and he played silently in her hair.
Vanessa felt his body rise and fall rapidly as he cried. The wreck was a scary ordeal for the both of them and seeing each other in such pain only made things worse. After a few moments of crying into his chest she stood up fully once again and looked down at his badly bruised face.
A smile broke through his tears and he spoke. “You’re never driving one of my cars again.” He laughed.

[Kezzie]

Chapter 7:
“Okay, well we’ll leave you two alone.” Ms. Madden announced as she scooted her children out of the room leaving Vanessa and Joel behind.
Benji gave Vanessa a wink as he left.

She turned back and looked at Joel whom was still smiling.
“What?” Vanessa asked.
“Vanessa and Benji sitting in a...” he began to sing in a high pitch voice until Vanessa interrupted him.
“Joel, hush up.”<br>He laughed. “Nah, it’s really great that you two are back together.”<br>“So I guess he told you, huh?”<br>“Yeah, only about a million times.”<br>Vanessa smiled; it was good to hear that. Her eyes settled on Joel’s cast and the guilt came rushing back to her.

“Joel, I’m really sorry about all this.”<br>Joel sighed slightly then placed his hand onto her cheek. “V, you have nothing to be sorry for. We’re both alive and that’s all that matters.”<br>
Vanessa smiled as she looked down at Joel. He resembled Benji so much it was scary (A/N: yeah I know their twins but w/e). Her smile quickly vanished as she began to speak.
“Gawd, do you remember the last time we were in a hospital?” she asked Joel with a sigh. Her throat began to tighten as she thought about the past.
“V, don’t. You’ll only make yourself stressed out.” Joel pleaded with her as he moved his hand from her face down to her arm. He knew what was on her mind and he knew that being trapped in the hospital would have her constantly thinking about it.
Vanessa looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. She didn’t want him to think that the idea in her head was having any affect on her.
She nodded slightly. “Yeah well …I think I’m going to head back to my room, my arm’s really aching.”<br>“Okay V. If you need me you know where to find me.” Joel gave out a slight laugh and watched Vanessa disappear out of the room.

Vanessa began to walk slowly down the hallway. The walls were covered with finger paintings that the children in pediatrics had painted. She gazed at them all brushing her hand over one as she passed it. Soon, she felt a warm tear making its way down her cheek.

**Flash Back**

Vanessa walked into she and Benji’s home, setting her keys down on the table. She opened the fridge and began searching around for something to cook for her and Benji. While staring into the empty fridge she felt a sharp pain in her abdominal area. She held on to her small belly with one hand and gripped the refrigerator door with the other as the pain began to increase.
“Benj!” Vanessa called out for her boyfriend. She got no response
“Benji!” she yelled once again and soon collapsed down to the floor crying in deep sobs.
Benji emerged from the living room to find his beloved seated on the kitchen floor slunched over in pain.
“V?” Benji asked.
She looked up at him revealing her streaming tears; her lips were trembling in fear.
“Ben…” she once again began to sob. Vanessa looked into Benji’s worried eyes. She knew exactly what was wrong, now how was she supposed to tell him?

**End Flash Back**

Vanessa shook the thoughts from her head and wiped away her tears. She entered her hospital room to find Benji seated on a chair next to the bed, staring blankly at the t.v.

“Hey.” She spoke; bringing his attention to her.
“Hey you.” He got up and made his way over to her and took her i.v., helping her over to her bed. He carefully helped her get in and wrapped her in a blanket. Benji looked down upon Vanessa and slowly wiped a few stray hairs from her face.

“I called Candy” Benji spoke softly “I told her that it was over.”<br>She looked and Benji and smiled although she did feel some sympathy for Benji’s ex.

Vanessa looked into Benji’s chocolate brown eyes. They were filled with love and compassion and she couldn’t believe he still loved her after all that time. Yet, there was a question she so desperately wanted to ask but decided against it. She was afraid of what his answer might be.

Vanessa’s thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and she and Benji watched as a familiar woman made her way into the room.

[Kezzie]

Chapter 8:
“Hey Hannah” Benji greeted the woman.
She was Hannah Branch, Joel’s girl friend of three years. Hannah was short, extremely thin, and her chin length hair was dyed a bright shade of red. She was always cheerful; the type of girl whom never seemed angry or upset. A bright smile adorned her face as she walked over to Vanessa.

“Hey guys.” she carried a large arrangement of flowers “here Vanessa, these are for you.”<br>Hannah set down her “get well” gift on a side table next to Vanessa’s bed.
“Aww thanks Hannah.”<br>“No problem” Hannah stated as she took a seat on the opposite side of the bed from Benji. “So how are you feeling V?”<br>“Umm, not too bad.”<br>“That’s good. When I heard about the accident I completely freaked. But I’m happy to see that you both are ok.”<br>“Yeah me too.” Benji added.

Hannah paused for a moment and realized the strange image that sat before her. ‘Vanessa and Benji both in the same room?’ she thought.
“Are you two…?” she began to question as she gestured over towards Benji and Vanessa.
“Yeah we’re finally back together” Benji gleamed.
Hannah’s smile grew and the bright glow in her eyes brought extra light to the room.
“Oh my gosh! That’s soo great!” she declared enthusiastically.
“You mean Joel never told you?” Vanessa asked confused.
“Nope, he failed to mention it. He was too busy gushing over the trip we’re going to be taking in the next couple of months.”<br>
“Trip?” Benji asked.
“Yeah he as this whole trip to Hawaii planned out for our anniversary. I guess being cooped up in this hospital just makes him more anxious to go.”<br>Benji and Vanessa exchanged confused expressions.
“He failed to mention that too.” Vanessa stated.

“Oh…well…it must have just slipped his mind or something.” Hannah stood up from her seat “Well I hate to leave so soon but I promised Joel I would find him some food.”<br>“Okay. Thanks for the flowers.”<br>“I’ll see ya’ll soon. Bye.”<br>
And with that the perky red head was gone.
Benji turned to Vanessa. “Well that was…” Benji began
“interesting” Vanessa finished his remark.

**********
Vanessa woke up in the hospital room the next morning to the feel a large amount of weight across her stomach. She quickly flicked her eyes open and laughed at the sight of Benji sprawled out across her body. He was still seated in the same chair as the day before yet the upper half of his body laid across Vanessa.
Vanessa played softly in his hair and watched as Benji’s eyes slowly opened. A small grin took over his face as he spoke. “Good morning beautiful.”<br>“Good morning.” Vanessa whispered.
“How you feel?”
“Um…okay I guess.”
“Good.”<br>
Their eye contact was broken as Vanessa’s doctor entered the room.
“Well good morning there.” Dr. Marse greeted them.
Benji quickly sat up and he and Vanessa both stared at the doctor eagerly.
“So I guess you’re ready to go home?” the doctor laughed as she looked over Vanessa’s monitor.
“Yes, very ready.” Vanessa replied.
“Well good news. You’re free to leave today.”<br>“Really?” Vanessa asked.
“Yes really. Every thing seems to be fine.” The doctor handed Vanessa a large bag “here are your belongings. You can leave as soon as you’re ready. I’ll have a nurse bring over a wheel chair for you. But I want you to make weekly appointment with Dr. Striver to check on that arm of yours, okay?”<br>“Okay. Thank you Dr.”<br>“No problem. Take care of that arm.” Dr. Marse said as she left out of the room.

Vanessa opened the bag to find her dress, shoes, and cell phone.
“Where did that come from?” Benji asked as he eyed the phone.
“It was hooked to the top of my dress during the accident. It’s still in perfect condition. Isn’t that funny?”<br>Benji nodded his head in reply.

Vanessa looked down at her phone. “Damn 25 missed calls” she announced.
“Who are they from?”<br>Vanessa search to see who had called her.
“They are from…” she looked down at the numbers occupying her screen”Jacob.”[/

[Kezzie]

Chapter 9:

Vanessa placed her cell phone back into the bag and got up from her bed.
“Where you going?” Benji asked.
“I’m going to go change out of this hospital gown.”<br>“Need any help?” Benji asked with mischievous eyes.
Vanessa smiled. “No Benjamin I think I can handle it just fine.” She disappeared into the bathroom.

As Benji waited patiently for Vanessa to finish, a nurse arrived pushing a wheel chair.
She looked over from the empty hospital bed to Benji.
“Where’s Miss Lewis?” The nurse asked.
“Oh, she’s in the bathroom getting changed.”<br>“Okay, well I’ll just wait for her. I need to get that IV taken out. Wait…aren’t you…nah never mind.” The nurse said as she took a better look at Benji.
“Aren’t I what?”<br>“You look like a guy my daughter has plastered all over her bed room walls.”<br>“Does he happen to be in a band?”<br>“Yeah…um Good…Good Shirley.”<br>Benji laughed at the nurse’s mistake. “Good Charlotte” he corrected her “yeah, that’s me. Benji Madden” He introduced himself as he extended his hand out to meet hers.
The two shook hands. “Catherine Oion. Could you by any chance sign something for my daughter?”<br>“Yeah sure.”<br>
The nurse tore off a piece of cardboard from a tissue box and handed it to Benji. He was signing it joyfully when Vanessa returned from the bathroom.

Vanessa was alittle disturbed at the sight before her. She hated not being able to be normal citizens, not even for a few seconds. Of course it was good for her business but she loved her privacy more than any thing else. And here they were in a hospital, the one place you would expect people to respect your privacy, and some nurse was hounding Benji for an autograph.

“There she is.” Benji looked up from the cardboard he was signing.
“Well hello Miss Lewis. Are you ready to get out of here?” The nurse asked.
Vanessa nodded her head.
“Well I just have to get that IV out and you’re free to go. Take a seat please.”<br>
Vanessa sat down on the bed as the nurse took the IV out of her hand.
“Ok. All done.” The nurse announced.
“Thanks.” Vanessa stated.

Benji rolled the wheel chair over to Vanessa and helped her get in.
“I guess you’ll be staying with me for awhile.” He said as he rolled her out of the room.
“Yeah, I mean, if you don’t mind. I just don’t think I should get on a plane any time soon.”<br>“No problem honey.”<br>**********
A few months later.

Vanessa walked out of the doctor’s office and waited on the curb. Benji had dropped her off for one of her weekly check ups. He had a call from the office and need to leave but he promised to be back on time to pick her up. It was nothing new to Vanessa. She was used to him leaving out of dinners and movies and even family get together’s because of a call from the office. He and Joel were going through a lot of changes and renovations with their record company and Benji was in charge of most of them.

Vanessa, on the other hand, was doing some work through a new office she bought in L.A. She couldn’t leave Benji behind so instead of returning home, she sold her apartment, bought a new office, flew in her workers from her old office, and moved in with Benji.

Now she was becoming impatient. Benji was already 20 minutes late and the sun was blistering on her skin.

She sighed as she watched a taxi pull to the curve. She hopped in the back seat and looked over at the other passenger.
“Let me guess, he’s busy and can’t get out of the office?”<br>“You know the routine by now.” Joel replied. The driver then pulled away from the curb began driving towards Vanessa and Benji’s home.[/

[Kezzie]

Chapter 10:

The taxi pulled in front of Benji and Vanessa’s home and Vanessa hesitated to get out. She looked over at Joel and smirked.
“Come in with me?” she asked.
Joel thought for a moment. “Yeah, why not.”<br>
Vanessa got out of the taxi and walked over towards Joel’s side. After he paid the driver Vanessa helped Joel out of the vehicle the best way she could. Both of them were realizing how hopeless they must look.

They made their way into the house.
“So, movie sounds fine?” Vanessa asked as Joel took a seat on the couch.
“Yeah, what you want to watch?”<br>“I dunno you pick something.”<br>“If I have to pick something then you’ll regret it.”<br>“Whatever. Just pick something I’m going to go pop some pop corn.”<br>Joel sighed and rolled his eyes as Vanessa went into the kitchen. He flipped through the channels on the TV. to see what was on. He stopped when he came across something that caught his eye.

“Found something!” He yelled to Vanessa.
“Okay. Just a sec.”<br>
Joel made himself comfortable on the couch. Soon enough Vanessa emerged from the kitchen area and plopped herself down beside him with a bowl full of pop corn.
“So what did you find?” Vanessa asked as she shoved a handful of pop corn into her mouth. Joel did the same.
Vanessa looked up at the television screen and her eyes grew wide. She choked a little on the remaining pop corn in her mouth.
“What the…?” She looked over at Joel whom was trying to look serious. “Free Willy? Joel you gotta be kidding me!”<br>“What? I love this movie.” He said trying hard not to smile.
“Yeah right.”<br>“I do, really.” Joel couldn’t hold in his emotion any more. He began to laugh uncontrollably.

“Alright smart ass. We’re watching Free Willy.” Vanessa announced as she pried the remote out of Joel’s hands.
“No, V! I was just kidding. Come on. Don’t make me watch this shit.”<br>Vanessa shook her head. “Nope, we’re watching it.”<br>
30 minutes into the movie and 3 bowls of popcorn later both Vanessa and Joel were struggling to stay awake. When Vanessa heard snoring coming from Joel’s direction she decided to give up the fight and fall asleep herself. The loud ringing of the house phone brought Vanessa to her feet hours later.

She went into the kitchen to answer it so she would not wake Joel. She knew he needed rest. He had told her on the cab ride over that he hadn't been sleeping well lately. She figured it had something to do with Hannah but she didn't pry into his personal life. She knew he would tell her when he was ready.

“Hello?” she whispered as she picked up the phone.
“Hey honey.”<br>“Benji! Where are you?” Vanessa looked over at the clock on her stove “It’s already 10pm.”<br>“I know, I’m so sorry V. I just got wrapped up with some things over here.”<br>“It’s okay. I understand. When are you coming home?” Vanessa asked.
“Well that’s what I was calling you for. I still have a lot to do here. I’m not sure when I’ll be in.”<br>“Benji, couldn’t it wait till the morning at least?”<br>“I’m sorry but it can’t. I’ve just got to much to do. Please don’t be mad.”<br>Vanessa sighed into the phone. “I’m not.”<br>“Okay I’ve really have to go now.”<br>“Alright I lo…Hello? Benji?”<br>
Vanessa turned the phone off and set it down on the counter. She jumped at the feeling of some one’s hand on her back. Vanessa turned around to find Joel standing there with sympathetic eyes

[Kezzie]

Chapter 11:

Vanessa gave Joel a small grin. It was fake and Joel saw straight through it.
“You want me to stay until he gets back?” he offered.
“Nah...I’ll be fine. You go home and get some rest.”<br>“You sure V?”<br>“Yeah. Thanks Joel.” She pulled him into a hug.
“Any time” he whispered to her then Vanessa watched as Joel slipped out of the kitchen and soon after heard the front door close.

Vanessa sighed deeply and made her way towards her bedroom, turning off lights along her way. She slipped under the silk sheets and fell into a deep sleep.

**Flash back**

Vanessa laid in the hospital bed with tears swelling in her eyes. Their baby was gone and there was nothing she or Benji could do about it. She felt as if a piece of her heart was missing.

She watched as Joel slowly walked into her hospital room. She was only allowed one guest at a time and now it was his turn to see her.

He walked over to her bed and sat down beside her holding her hand contently in his. He made eye contact with her for a second then he slowly looked down at the floor. His eyes closed and she could tell the by the movements of his lips that he was praying. It was exactly what she needed. She didn’t need any one telling her things would be okay when she felt as if they never would. She needed silence, and she needed a sense of hope. And Joel was providing her with all of those things at that moment.

**End Flash Back**

Vanessa awoke to the feeling of Benji kissing lightly at her neck.
“Mmm, Benji…sweetie…come on I’m tired.” She whined at his actions but Benji ignored her and continued to leave kisses down her neck. His hands beginning to explore her body.
“Benj…Benji come on.”<br>Still he ignored her pleads.
“Benji I said STOP!” Vanessa finally yelled and pushed Benji off of her body. She ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

She didn’t know what came over her and neither did Benji. Usually Vanessa was always in the mood but tonight it was different. It felt different. Almost as if what they were doing was completely wrong.

Benji got up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom door. He knocked on it lightly.
“V…sweetie? I didn’t mean to get you so upset.” There was no response. Just the sound of the water running in the sink. “Vanessa, please. I’m sorry.” Still nothing. Benji gave up and got back into his bed.

He really didn’t mean to upset her. He was only trying to make up for lost time. Benji hadn’t kissed Vanessa in weeks. Sure there was a peck on the cheek every now and then, but no true kiss was ever shared between them. It seemed as if there was almost no time for it. There was no time for any amount of intimacy lately. Until tonight, he thought.

Vanessa on the other hand, was bawled up in the corner of the bathroom. She had the sink running in hopes of drowning out the sounds of her crying. Things had changed between her and Benji but she didn’t want to admit it. His touch, his voice, his eyes, all used to bring much comfort and warmth to her. But now his touch was unwanted, his voice was uncaring, and his eyes, his eyes were apologetic.

They both knew what was happening between them, but didn’t want to believe it.

Vanessa rose from the corner and dried her eyes. After turning off the running water she slipped back into bed. They both lied there, uncomfortably. Both pretending to be asleep; pretending to be okay

[Kezzie]

Chapter 12:

The sound of the door bell ringing woke Vanessa up. She looked over to her clock at the night stand which read 7:45 am. Then she turned over to the opposite side of the bed to find Benji missing. In his place was a letter. The door bell continued to ring so Vanessa took the letter along with her and read it on her way to the front door.

V,
Once again I am sorry about last night. I really didn’t mean to upset you. I had to go, I had an early meeting. I’ll try to get back home early tonight.
Love you always and forever,
Benji.
Vanessa sighed as she reached the door. She crumpled the letter up in her hand and opened the door quickly.

“Joel?” she asked. Joel was standing in Vanessa’s door way with tears streaming down his face.
“V…can I come in…please.” He stumbled on getting the words out of his mouth.
“Yeah, Joel. Of course.”<br>
Vanessa moved aside and let Joel in. She followed him into the living room and they both sat down on the sofa.

“What’s the matter?” Vanessa asked Joel. She watched as he rested his head in his hand and sobbed quietly.
“H—hannah. She broke up with me.”<br>The news shocked Vanessa. There was no sign of trouble in Joel and Hannah’s relationship. They seemed like the perfect couple. Vanessa rubbed Joel’s back softly in an attempt to comfort him.

“She said that she met some one new.” Joel lifted his head and looked up into Vanessa’s eyes. His eyes were filled with pain and confusion. “Why V? Why? Did I do some thing wrong? How could she just leave me for some one else? And I mean perfect timing too. Our anniversary is next week and I had this whole trip planned out and every thing.” His eyes closed and he began to cry even harder. He slowly opened his eyes once again and looked at Vanessa. “I was going to propose to her V.” he choked out. Joel rested his head in his hand once again and cried frantically.

Vanessa was at a lost for words. She knew nothing she could say would comfort him. So instead she wrapped her arm around his body and held him close as he cried.

After a few minutes of sitting in that position, Joel’s crying came to a halt. He lifted his head from his hand and wrapped his arm around Vanessa.
“Where would I be without you girl?” he whispered to her.
Vanessa moved away from Joel slightly but still kept her arm wrapped around him. She looked at his tear stained eyes and wiped a few stray tears from his cheek. Joel stared deeply into Vanessa’s brown eyes and at that moment a strong feeling over came the both of them, a feeling that neither one of them had ever experienced before.

Vanessa watched for a moment as Joel’s head moved closer towards hers; his eyes still set upon hers. His lips looked so soft and delicate; she was longing to feel them pressed against hers. She closed her eyes; their lips were lying only inches apart. She could feel his breath upon her face and his lips brushed up against hers.

“Vanessa I’m home!” Benji called from the door. Vanessa and Joel quickly moved away from each other. Vanessa stood up and ran off to the bathroom, locking herself in.

“Oh. Hey Joel. What’s up?” Benji asked as he entered the living room to find his brother seated on the coach. He was oblivious to what was about to take place. His spot at the door had blocked his views of the living room.

Joel, on the other hand, was startled and stuttered as he spoke. “Um…nothing...I…um.”<br>Benji interrupted his brother. Clearly uncaring of why he was there in the first place.
“Where’s V? I cancelled my meeting to spend the day with her.” Benji asked as he sat down on his recliner.
“Oh, she’s um...” Joel continued to stutter “in the” he motioned towards the bath room door.
“Bathroom?” Benji asked.
Joel nodded his head yes.
“Okay…” Benji gave his twin a closer look “Joel, are you okay. You look a little…flush.”<br>Joel opened his mouth to speak but was stopped when he heard the bathroom door sqeaking opened; announcing Vanessa’s arrival into the living room.

“There you are” Benji yelled with enthusiasm as he lept up from the coach and took Vanessa into his arms “Good news. We have the entire day to our selves.”
Benji hugged his girlfriend tightly. He was hoping he could use this day to mend together the pieces of their broken relationship.

Vanessa rested her chin on Benji’s shoulder and looked at Joel.
“I’m sorry” Joel whispered to her low enough so no one could hear but so that Vanessa could read his lips.
“Don’t be.” she whispered back to him.

[Kezzie]

Chapter 13:

Vanessa pulled away from Benji and looked at him with a mark of confusion on her face.
“What happened to your meeting or what ever?”<br>“Oh, I got out of it. I told those bastards that I was going to spend my Saturday with my beautiful girl friend.” Benji smirked that famous Benjamin Madden smirk and planted a kiss on Vanessa’s forehead.

“Um, maybe I should just go.” Joel piped up and began to stand up, balancing himself on his crutch.
“No…Joel. You really don’t…” Vanessa reassured him. She didn’t want him leaving for many reasons. For one…his heart was broken and she knew he needed some company and for two…if he left then she would be forced to spend the entire day alone with Benji and face the cruel reality that was their relationship.
“It’s okay. You two never get to spend time together. I understand.” Joel proceeded to make his exit.

“Joel you really don’t have to go.” Benji said, joining in the conversation.
“Guys, really. It’s okay. I’ll see you both later.”
“Well at least let us give you a ride.” Vanessa suggested. She was trying to come up with excuses to spend less time alone with Benji.

Joel played with the thought in his head for awhile, and then gave in. “I actually really could use a ride.”<br>*************

After dropping Joel off, Vanessa and Benji headed back home.
“So where are we going to spend our day?” Benji asked his beloved.
“Um, B, how ‘bout we just stay in and watch a movie or something?”<br>“Stay in? But Vanessa we have an entire day to go out and do what ever the hell we please.”<br>“I’m really worn out from working all week. I just want to kind of stay in and do nothing in particular.”<br>“You sure?”<br>Vanessa nodded her head.
“Alright V, if that’s what you want.”<br>
The rest of the ride home was met with silence. Neither one of them knew exactly what to say to each other. Benji’s mind was completely else where’s. Vanessa thought back on the kiss that she and Joel almost shared.

She looked over at Benji whom seemed to be concentrating a great deal on his driving. She couldn’t believe what she had done. She couldn’t believe that their relationship had come to this.

**Flash Back**

Vanessa had been home from the hospital for a week now. After having her miscarriage she had succumbed to a great amount of depression. She hadn’t left her bedroom all week and Benji had to force her to eat.

Vanessa glanced around the bed room. It was scattered with clothing and trash. Neither she nor Benji and bothered to clean. She couldn’t take it any more. She needed out.

She got out from the bed and began packing her things. The entire house was filled with memories she needed to escape. Vanessa searched for a pin and paper and began writing a letter to her boyfriend.

Benji,

I’m sorry for what I am about to do. By the time you get back home and read this letter I will already be gone. I hate this Benji, I hate the feeling of guilt each time I look into your beautiful eyes. I know you’ve told me numerous times that the lost of our child was not my fault but, I can’t help but not feel the same. I’m sorry. I feel horrible for leaving; I know that you would never do the same to me. It would be cold day in July right? Just like you always said. I’m sorry for promises broken and tears cried. I love you B and never forget that.

Vanessa

Vanessa placed the letter next to the night stand where Benji could easily find it. She took in one last breath of that place and was gone.
**End Flash Back**

“We’re here.” Benji announced as he pulled into their drive way.
They climbed out of the vehicle and entered their home.

“So what movie you want to watch?” Benji asked as they walked into the living room.
“Um, any thing. You pick. I’m going to go get us a blanket okay?” Vanessa declared and began walking to their bed room.
“Alright.”<br>
She really didn’t need a blanket. She was still trying to buy some time away from Benji. Vanessa walked into the bedroom and could hear a ringing coming from under the bed. She looked in search of the source of the noise and under a pile of Benji’s clothes she found his cell phone. Vanessa picked up the phone and was about to bring it to Benji when something caught her eye.

She looked at the name that appeared across the screen and at that moment she felt as if her heart was in her throat. “Candy?”<br>

[Kezzie]

Chapter 14:

Look at me
I'm in a place
I never thought I’d be

The phone stopped ringing and the screen presented a message. ‘One New Voice Mail.’<br>
Vanessa’s stomach was turning and her heart was pounding faster each minute. ‘Should I listen?’ she thought. If she answered she’d be betraying Benji’s trust but, if she didn’t she would worry constantly about what truth the voice mail may hold. Then, the devil got the best of her.

She clicked to listen to the message and with a shaking hand she brought the phone up to her ear.

“Hey Benji” Candy’s voice beamed “I really had fun last night. Call me later and maybe we can get together again. Oh…did I happen to leave my thong in your car? I can’t find it any where. Well any ways, I’m glad you came to your senses. Call me.”<br>
Vanessa dropped the phone back down on the floor and her body went with it. She knelt down on the floor and began shaking with emotion.

Don't have the strength
To fight anymore
Or a reason not to leave

She heard footsteps coming from the hallway that led to their bedroom and Benji’s voice followed. “Hey V do you know where the Nightmare Before Christmas tape is?”

Benji stopped walking once he reached the bedroom door way. He saw Vanessa kneeling down facing away from him.

“V?”<br>
So tell me why I still keep holding on
To something I just cannot see

Vanessa gathered herself, stood up with the little strength she had left, and faced Benji.
“No Benji. I think Billy might have it still. But I’m not sure.”<br>Benji looked at Vanessa with concern. “What were you doing on the floor?”<br>
“Oh, lost one of my earrings. I think it went under the bed." Vanessa toyed with her ear lobe.
“You need help finding it?”<br>“Na uh.” She answered as she fought back tears.
Benji nodded in belief and walked off to the living room.

When Benji was out of sight Vanessa cleared the message from his phone, picked up a blanket, and joined him in the living room. She sat down beside her cheating boyfriend and swallowed her pride as she let him place his arm around her shoulder.

I'm not afraid
Of living alone
I was alone before he came

Vanessa and Benji sat watching Sweet Home Alabama. She had no idea why he picked that particular movie but it wasn’t making her feel any better. She watched the movie end happily ever after the way those movies always do. The same way she and Benji once lived. Vanessa realized that their relationship would never be the same; their lives could never again reflect characters in a romantic movie.

She needed air so she got up from the sofa and headed out the back door, taking a seat on the steps. Benji followed her with his eyes and decided to give her a few minutes alone before joining her.

Vanessa sat looking out at their large back yard and then up at the beautiful blue sky. Candy’s voice played over and over in Vanessa’s mind. How could he? Why did he? She was full of questions yet was in no hurry to find the answers.

I've been in love
Many times before
But this time's not the same

Minutes later, she felt Benji sit down beside her but she didn’t speak. She continued to stare up at the sky.

“Vanessa” he whispered softly “are you okay?”<br>With that question, Vanessa’s heart broke even further. Since when did he have to ask if she was okay? This was Benji, he always knew exactly what to say and do but now he was doing all the wrong things.
“Yeah Benji I’m fine. I’m just stressed with work.”<br>Benji placed his hand on Vanessa’s back in an attempt to comfort her but Vanessa jumped a little. His touch felt like a stranger’s to her.
“I just got a call from the office. They need me to go in tonight.” He informed her.
She did not reply right away. Instead she looked up into his eyes and watched as he quickly looked away from her stare. She looked at his face, the face she had loved for so long. How could that face cause her so much pain?
‘Why doesn’t he just tell the truth?’ she thought ‘Why doesn’t he just say he’s going to be spending the night with her?’<br>“Okay Benji.”<br>
When it goes this deep
And feels this strong
I can't convince myself
That this love is wrong

Benji tried kissing his girlfriend on her lips but she slyly turned away giving him her cheek instead.
As if in slow motion Benji pulled away from Vanessa and looked at her in confusion. At that moment he was brought back down to earth and he realized what was going on around him.

But instead of staying and talking to Vanessa, Benji choose to leave. He got up without a word and walked away from her. He walked away from the most caring person he knew and left her in pieces.


What makes you stay
When your world falls apart
What makes you try one more time
When it's not in your heart
At the end of your rope
When you can't find any hope
You still look at him and say
I just can't walk away
Tell me what makes you stay

[Kezzie]

Chapter 15:
A/N: Okay let’s play a little game of pretend. Since this is a work of fiction and all this is made up let’s just pretend that Joel and Vanessa are no longer in arm slings and casts and that they are fully healed. Okay? Ok.

Vanessa laid in her bed that night alone. She had crawled into bed right after Benji left and hadn’t moved since. She ignored all phone calls and tried her best to stay sleeping as long as she could. That way, she thought, she could ignore the drama unfolding in her life.

Her enormous will power allowed her to sleep straight into the next day and as the phone rang for the thousandth time she decided to surrender and answer it. She reached over towards her night stand and picked up the phone.

“YEAH?” She answered with a bit of attitude.
“Whoa, sorry. Did I call at a bad time?” Joel began to apologize.
“No, sorry Joel. I just woke up and you know how I am in the morning.”<br>Joel laughed slightly “It’s already 4pm V. Anyways; I was calling to see how your day was yesterday.” Joel asked. His voice was still filled with sadness as it had been the day before. He sounded as if he really wasn’t interested in how her day had been at all.
“What?” Vanessa asked; a little confused about Joel’s question.
“Your day… alone with Benj. How was it?”<br>“Oh um…” Vanessa turned over and looked at Benji’s side of the bed. It was still completely untouched revealing his absence.”…it was great.” She lied.
“That’s good, good. So are ya ‘ll coming over to Paul’s tonight?”<br>“To Paul’s? What for?”<br>“Foorrr his party…. didn’t Benji tell you?”<br>“Nope. He must not have known.”<br>“V…umm…he’s been knowing for weeks.”<br>Vanessa’s sadness grew. As little of a deal it was it was still just one more thing that Benji had hidden from her.
“Oh, well he must have forgotten to mention it. Did he say if he was going or not?”<br>“Yeah, actually he said he would. V, are you okay? You sound upset.”<br>“No, I’m fine. Joel I’m going to go take a shower. I’ll call you later.” She needed to get off the phone with him for she could no longer hold back her tears.
“Alirght.”<br>Vanessa started to reach for the button to hang up until she heard Joel’s voice calling her name.
“Yeah?” she answered.
“If you need me, just call.”<br>Vanessa paused for a second as a tear rolled down her cheek. Joel had seen right through her.
“Thanx Joel.”<br>*click*

******
An hour later Vanessa hopped out of the shower and dried off. Once she was fully clothed she left out of the bathroom still trying to some what dry her hair with a towel.

She walked into the living room at the same time Benji was walking through the door.
She looked up at him and something she saw made her stop in her tracks.

“V…” Benji began to make his apology as he stepped towards her “I’m sorry. I tried calling but you wouldn’t answer the phone. Work ran really late last night and I fell asleep at my desk. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”<br>Vanessa didn’t speak. She just stood staring at Benji with her towel hanging from her folded arms.
“Paul’s having a party tonight. We can go and spend time together and it will be fun. I promise.” Benji continued. He was saying every thing he could think of to make up for not coming home that night.
Benji took another step closer so that he was now standing face to face with Vanessa. He leaned in to kiss her but she stopped him.

He looked at her in shock and horror as she wiped away Candy’s dark red lipstick from his cheek.
“Sounds fun.” Vanessa’s voice cracked as she spoke. Benji tried to say something to her but by the time he managed to get the words out Vanessa had already turned around and walked away.

She went into her bed room and began getting ready for the party.
She watched in her mirror as Benji slowly walked into the room. Tears were streaming down his face.
“Vanessa…I’m…”

“NO!" Vanessa yelled as loud as she could

"This is what you want isn’t Benji? You want to be with her but have every one believing you are with me, right? Other wise you would have left me a long time ago. So that’s what I’m giving you Benji."

Vanessa stopped for a second as her crying became to much to bare. After she took a few breaths and gathered her thoughts she began to speak again. This time she spoke calmly, almost in a whisper. Yet, her voice and her heart were both still filled with pain.

"We’re going to go to this party tonight and pretend every thing is okay between us. We’re going to have every one believing we are the perfect couple. Then, when we get back home you can leave and be with her. That’s what you want Benjamin and that’s what I’m going to give you. Because it seems to me that this is the only way you will ever be happy. And all I want, all I have ever wanted, was for you to be happy.”<br>